


Lost until you found me - Agony

by Lethallan97



Series: Lost Until You Found Me (Part 1) [2]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Agents of Fen'Harel, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Fenris (Dragon Age), Broken Fenris, Caring Solas, Extreme Pain, First Kiss, M/M, Magic, Pain, Solas is Fen'Harel, Well it is more first peck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 22:34:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10054535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lethallan97/pseuds/Lethallan97
Summary: '“You’re a fool boy, clutching like a child at magic you do not understand!…” The voice was familiar, but a new wave of pain pulsed over me and I forgot to care. The screaming started again, hoarser this time, and I realised with a start that It was me. 'Agony. It was all Fenris could feel, waves and waves of agony as his lyrium burned white hot in his veins. Solas comes to the rescue.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Overall Series Summary:With Hawke lost in the fade, a lost Fenris joins Fen'Harel in the hopes that if the veil is torn down he can search for her.Solas wanted Fenris for his lyrium brands, hoping that their power can be enhanced to the extent that they could replace the lost foci to tear down the veil, but the two soon become close. Both are broken men, suffering the loss of a love - Hawke and his beloved vhenan - they find solace in one another in their loneliness and grief.Big thanks to my new beta, sharksgrin, for the help!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am really getting back into this rarepair, and as it always if with a Solas ship, it is hell. I hope you like this one, I just loved the idea of a hard face Solas getting into a fight then caving in at the sight of Fenris in pain and being all caring and fluffy and regretting the fight and AHHHH. I am really trying not to rush the affection thing, which is why there is only some beginnings of feels here and a peck, but it is really hard not to go into full blown smut :P 
> 
> Still looking for a beta, comment if you are interested!  
> As always, it is proofread but if you see any spelling or grammar errors please let me know in the comments and ill fix them right up!

“I will not sit here idle with twiddling thumbs, mage!” I gritted my teeth, glaring at the mage. Solas was perched behind an intricately carved desk, laden with papers and reports, in a sparsely decorated room of cold stone. His eyes narrowed at me, mouth downturned as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I have no use for a lyrium lined corpse, Da’fen.” He sighed, shuffling some of the papers in front of him. He stood, walked around the desk and leaned on it with his arms crossed tightly as he scowled. I growled, the hand at my side clasped into a fist as I began to pace, gesturing wildly with the other.

“Do not call me that. I am a warrior. This is a war. Your war. If I knew your proposition was to bring me here as a trinket to sit upon your mantelpiece, I would—“ The mage bit out a sharp laugh, cutting me off.

“You would have rotted in that cell until you died of starvation, or were executed.” He leaned away from the desk and took a few predatorial steps forward, crowding my space and looked down his sharp nose with barely suppressed fury bubbling behind his eyes, his mouth twitched further into a scowl.

 I suppressed a flinch as his agitated magic thrummed against my skin and instinct told me to look away, submit, but I clenched my fists tightly at my sides and set my jaw in defiance as an answering rage kindled in my chest to answer his own.

He regarded me for a moment, before something I couldn’t determine flickered in his eyes and he stepped back, turning away to regard the view out of the open window on the other side of the room.

“You are a capable warrior. I am aware of this…”, he turned back and looked me in the eye, “but there is only one like you in this world. I cannot risk another failure. You will remain here, train my people, but you are forbidden to join any of the outgoing groups. Do not ask me again.” I snarled, lip curling and threw my arm up in exasperated fury. I turned to the door as the rage seared through my veins, stalking to it and thrust it open before closing it behind me with a childish bang.

A small elven serving woman jumped, almost dropping her linens as she looked at me with horror and scuttled away. I stalked down the hallways, breathing deeply through my nose as I supressed the urge to punch something and I winced at a small twinge of pain in my side.

One flesh wound, from a blade that slipped past my defences in a moment of carelessness, was all it took for the mage to pack me away like some delicate antique that would shatter at a breath. What was the point of having me here, if I could not fight for this cause of his? I needed this to end, quickly. I needed it… for him.

I snarled at nothing and tore my eyes from the scarlet fabric around my wrist and descended a spiral staircase, heading towards the training grounds. Maybe punching something would take away this feeling pulsing through my veins.

 That, or I might just slip up and punch the Dread Wolf himself.

*                      *                      *                      *

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Keep your guard up, fool.” I lunged, fist impacting with a sickening crunch into the jaw of the mage in front of me. The boy, barely past adulthood, was one of a small group that stood off to the side that had been brought to me by one of the sentinel generals that I had met a handful of times before.

Abelas had insisted that the mages needed to know how to defend themselves, should they ever find themselves on the receiving end of a spell purge. As loathe as i was to interact with young mages, their untamed magic biting at my skin, it was nice to feel the crunch of flesh beneath my knuckles rather than a training dummy, even if the rage still sat just beneath my skin, ready to surface at the first sign of provocation.

The boy groaned, hand clutched to his shattered jaw as healing magic flowed into it, knitting the bone together in minutes. He whined and glared like the petulant child he was.

“You didn’t need to shatter my bloody jaw, you psycho!” I paced, impatient, as the boy continued to rub at it even after it was fully healed.

“If you had kept you guard up, protected your face as I told you the last two times, you would not have needed the reminder!” I snarled. I was likely being too rough, the boy was young and had obviously had no experience fighting like this before. A city elf taken to the circle, would be my guess, but damn did it feel good to have the adrenaline coursing through my veins.

“Hands up.” I taunted, raising my fists again and spreading my legs for balance. The boy looked over to his friends. Specifically, at two pretty little elven girls in the group with dirty blond hair, around his age that were giggling behind their hands at him. The boy’s brow furrowed, looking back and forth between the girls and me. I smirked, supressing a chuckle at the boy’s obvious frustration. Which ,unfortunately, seemed to be a bad move.

The boy's jaw clenched at that and he looked from them back to me, then he grinned. Magic stirred in the air and I scowled, opening my mouth to reprimand the boy.

“No magic here, boy, you’re impressing no—“ My eyes widened, and I heard screaming as the ground rushed up to meet me. I tried to look up as searing pain raced across my skin and pierced to the bone, every nerve ending on fire. My muscles spasmed and pulsed, and I curled in on myself as the lyrium in my flesh burned in white hot agony as it flared to life.

The screaming went on and on, others yelling around me and horrified screams of terror surrounded me. The boy was on his knees in front of me, wide eyes filled with tears as his hand fluttered uselessly, and he babbled as people scattered in all directions behind him.

“I.. I didn’t… I don’t… Creators…” He reached towards me, but cried out as he clutched his hand where his palm touched a line of lyrium. The smell of burning flesh permeated the air, his skin bubbling where it had touched, and he cried harder.

f

I squeezed my eyes shut, the pain flashing even hotter as the boy tried to push healing magic into me. I lay, screams continuing around me, clawing deep welts into my neck to stop the pain for what felt like hours.

Rapid footfalls approached as I tried to pry my eyes open, my eyelids heavy like sandpaper.

“You’re a fool boy, clutching like a child at magic you do not understand!…” The voice was familiar, but a new wave of pain pulsed over me and I forgot to care. The screaming started again, hoarser this time, and I realised with a start that the screams were my own..

A cool hand touched my forehead, and a hiss sounded as flesh burned, but it did not retreat as I felt more magic probe at my flesh, setting off another wave of screams.

“Shhh…” the pained voice comforted, “My apologies, Da’len, but I must find out what was done.” I tried to reply, but all that came from my raw throat as a pathetic whimper. I pushed my head into the magic cooled palm, curling further in on myself as my body was wracked with spasms.

The hand was removed, and I cried out at the loss, only to be hushed once more as strong arms slid under my spasming form and cradled me close. I felt myself being lifted and pulled close to a solid body.  I whimpered and buried myself as far into the man’s chest as possible, seeking the comforting rhythm of his rapid heartbeat. The man hissed through clenched teeth and I pried open my eyes, seeing lines burned through his armour and flesh where my chin had touched.

I whined, pulling away, but I felt the man shake his head and pull my body closer as the hand supporting my back stroked comfortingly through my hair. I let him, as another shock ran through my body and I opened my mouth to let another pained scream loose into the man’s chest as he began to run.

Darkness was beginning to creep into the corners of my vision. _Please, please let me pass out. Please._

My head lolled in the man’s arms, and I felt soft fabric under me as I was gently set down. I followed the hands as they left, straining for the comfort of their cool touch, but they gently pressed me back down onto the bed. The pressure of soft lips on my sweat drenched temple made me stop, and I pried my eyes open in confusion.

I expected dark, scruffy hair and a face lined red with warpaint, but instead I saw nothing but burned flesh and the concerned, pitying face of the dread wolf above me. My last thought was of how nice it was, to feel lips on my feverish skin and fingers in my hair again, as the last of my consciousness slipped away.


	3. Chapter 3

Warmth. A strange sensation, not the burning heat I remembered, but a comfortable cocoon wrapped around my body. Sensations began to trickle back, my body ached like an overworked muscle and my skin felt clammy, covered in a thin film of sweat.

My eyelids were heavy, scraping uncomfortably as I pried my eyes open and hissed as the light bombarded me. I blinked hard, looking down to see my body buried, nestled in a velvety soft duvet, and felt a mountain of plush pillows below my head propping me up. I shifted, turning my head, and hissed as pain spiked down my spine at the movement. 

“Do not try to move.” A rustling sound came from the other side of the room, at a small desk. 

Solas stood, moving towards the bed slowly. He was clothed only in a pair tight green leggings and a loose white shirt that hung down to expose one milky shoulder. My eyes widened, lips parting in horror at the strip of exposed raw flesh on his chest, skin puckered and glistening an angry red. The same pattern was repeated on both his forearms, except there the lyrium had melted his flesh almost to the bone. He followed my eyes, and he looked almost sheepish for a moment.

“Ah, yes, a bit unsightly I suppose…” I scowled, looking at him in horror as he poked at the wound lightly and winced.

“Why have you not healed it!?” I rasped, my throat scratching painfully. He shrugged, and moved to sit on the end of the bed. 

“Lyrium burns like these are much different from an ordinary wound. Healing magic had no effect on them. It matters not, they will heal on their own in time.” I frowned, mouth gaping. 

He had done this for me. I had yelled at him, cursed him, and yet he still suffered this for me. He would bear the scars to prove it. I averted my eyes, fidgeting, not knowing what to do. 

“What happened?” I coughed, my voice breaking slightly on the words. 

“The boy, Coralan….” He frowned and shook his head, “He did not know. He reached out, thought he could draw upon your lyrium to fuel a spell. He grabbed at you, like a greedy child. He triggered a form of… in-built punishment, meant for the worst form of disobedient slave.” His face curled in disgust, fist tightening in the bed sheets. 

“I brought you here and began to siphon off power as it was produced, until the process ended naturally. The boy has been reprimanded for his recklessness.” I frowned, and he held my gaze.

“I… regret what happened before. Had I allowed you to find your purpose here outside of this fortress, this may not have happened.” I laughed bitterly, and dropped my head backward onto the pillow below.

“You save me from a week of agony, and you’re the one apologising to me?” I chuckled. Solas blinked a moment, surprised, before the corner of his lips twitched upward. 

“I suppose there is a certain irony in that.” He smirked, and rose from the bed, hand briefly reaching to brush a stray stand of hair from my sticky forehead. I blinked, shying away from the intimate moment. 

“Rest now. You’ll need to be in full health, if you are to fight for me outside these walls.” He looked down at me, eyes warmed by humour, and turned to leave. 

“I… Thank you, Solas.” I whispered, hoping my raw throat would be enough excuse for my hesitancy. 

He looked back, staring at me briefly, before nodding solemnly and leaving me to my rest. 


End file.
